How busy are you these days? If you’re like most people today, you are now busier than ever. The flurry of high tech gizmos has given us more information, more options, and more to do. There are more demands on you, more activities, and more responsibilities than ever before. With little effort you may have your time fully spent, regardless of whether you work outside the home. The very same experience is happening to our children. In our times of great freedom and wealth of opportunity, it is easy for us all to become overextended. Therefore we need to become selective in how we spend our time. If there are choices to make, what do you choose?

All of this prompts the following creed (it’s my favorite):

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

I’ll write that again, it’s so profound: Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

These are important words for today’s parents. For not only is this motto important in the allocation of your time, but these words ring true in many areas of parenting. And I will bet you that when you think about it, you will find your own personal applications of my favorite saying.

For example, just because you can afford to purchase every toy on your child’s birthday wish list, does not mean you should purchase the gifts.

Another example: just because you can enroll your child in many activities, does not mean you should do this either.

Let’s address the giving scenario. Many children growing up today have an enormous sense of entitlement. They fail to appreciate the value of the earned dollar; they come to expect that they deserve special treatment, and that they ought to receive what they want. They have a difficult time saving money, waiting graciously for gifts, or even handling every day disappointments. In my practice I see this frequently. Children need to understand the value of working to earn money, the benefits of saving money, the grace of accepting whatever gifts come their way, and most importantly I feel, children today need to handle disappointment when things do not go their way.

Now let’s tackle the second scenario: free time. Children today do not have enough of it. There are great demands on their time for completing homework and for keeping up with all of their activities. Of course, we need to recognize that your children will ask you for things they really don’t need. (Children always ask for candy, especially right before meals, don’t they?) So they might ask you to enroll them in music lessons, karate, soccer and scouts, and more. But as the parent, you have the ultimate responsibility for keeping your child’s schedule balanced. You need to insure enough family time, homework time, friendship time, activity time, and yes, free time. Time for a child to think for herself. Time for a child to connect with others. Time for a child to slow down and rest. Time even for the child to connect with you. Just because you can provide so many activities does not mean you should. Such benefits from just saying no!

So when you contemplate how to spend your time, or what to do with your children, please remember my favorite saying: just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.